My great-grandma, Mary Ann (Maria) Davico Ardissono, left her earthly body just a few weeks after celebrating her 102nd birthday. I was fortunate to have her in my life for just over 40 years. I think and speak of her often. I often think about the longevity of her life and all that was lived after so many significant personal and world events. After she immigrated to America from northern Italy as a young child. After two world wars. After the 1918 Spanish Flu global pandemic. After losing her husband, my great-grandpa Pete, to a massive heart and then living as a single, independent woman for over 25 years. She was a quiet, gentle soul whose faith in the Catholic Church was unwavering. And while I’m fortunate to have shared many memories with her and to carry in my heart a of few of the stories she shared without me about her life, she was a not one to speak of or dwell on life’s disappointments and challenges, which means I have so many questions about her life that will never be answered. Did she miss her family in Italy? Why as Italian, Catholic farmers did she and my great-grandpa only have 1 child? What were her parents like? Did she have any unrealized dreams?
Having been blessed with growing up knowing multiple generations of surviving ancestors on both sides of my parentage, I often think about the nuances that are part of each of those generations when it comes to the sharing of their stories. As the product of Italian and German roots, I’ve found so many little details about my ancestors’ lives are missing because “those things” simply weren’t discussed. The tough things. The less than happy things. The things that help to shape our families, in good times and bad. The few stories I have gathered through the years I hold close to my heart, sometimes unable to know exactly which details are factual and which I have unintentionally creatively inserted into my memory in my desire to feel more strongly rooted in the history of the people from which I come.
I am a story lover and an accidental storyteller that has grown up in a family full of untold stories.
Having talked with several childhood friends through the years about my wondering about the generations that came before me, I have found I am not alone in my wondering. I’ve also found that many of us have a desire to change the narrative when it comes to what we willingly share with our own children and the legacy we pass on to the generations to come. We tend to be more open to sharing all angles of life with our kids, both the light and the darkness that combine to create a rich, full picture of life.
As a mother of daughters, especially as I wade through the muddy waters of mid-life, I want to be able to help them see and understand the beauty that comes from both the highs and lows of life. I want to curate family habits of not only celebrating the highs of life, but acknowledging and learning from the lows. I want to be able to help them paint a full, rich picture of life. A life of intention. A brave life. A life that shines bright without fear of what lies in the shadows. A life where they will feel grounded in their roots, giving them the freedom to reach and stretch beyond those roots without fear.
I strive everyday to live an authentic life. To teach by example. To be vulnerable and strong and always, always, ALWAY open to learning and growing. As Brene Brown says, “Strong back. Soft front. Wild heart.” For me, Woman After is just one more tool, a small window into my inner being, I hope to use in that process.
Welcome. Thank you for reading. ~ Jenn
Woman After... 